Marva's blog: No time like the present

So, I’ve got a little bit of time off work over the school holidays & for the first time in, I think, ever, I’ve taken a moment to sit back and reflect on how far my tiny full-time-working single-parent household has come.  And as I stare into the hazy mirror of the past, what looks back at is somewhat surprising.

The memories hesitate to come in, like long-lost friends that have turned up uninvited as afternoon tea is being served...

My son, 2, is at nursery – one with a monthly fee comparable to most mortgages – and SouthEastern is yet again up to its usual shenanigans, from London Cannon St. My train is delayed by 20 minutes. It will be £15 per extra 10 minutes my child sits there, tired, and dry-crumbed mouth. The last child to be collected.  I finally arrive just after 6.15pm, he is asleep, and it is now raining hard. I am close to frustrated tears and £30 poorer.

I blink. Now, he is 6, and having an awful time at his current school. A thoughtful and kind child with a predisposition to books, running everywhere very fast, and pretending with friends that he is Spiderman, he isn’t typically boisterous and has caught the attention of some playground hard-nuts.  Frequent meetings, tears, fears about what each day would bring for my little one and many nights laying awake wondering whether he was suffering because it was just me and him.

I fix his tie, and proudly take pictures next to the car. It’s the first day of secondary school.  I am both anxious and beyond proud of him. He has nurtured an incredible artistic talent over the past few years, leaning towards all things Japanese – anime, food and its rich culture.  I smile at him brightly as we fasten our seat belts, but I’m scared. Will he fit in? Will he be targeted again? Can we get through such a tough time again? Well, yes it did happen again and yes we did get through it again.

In September this year he will go into year 9, having changed school mid-term last year. He’s now found his tribe. They go to cinema and spend hours at each others houses watching Attack on Titan, South Park (I know, I know!) and playing video games.  He is happy.

We sometimes still talk about what he went through. We went through. So we are grateful for these peaceful times.

As the countdown to a new term begins, with thoughts of new uniform, books and most probably far-fetched concerns about what challenges await old both parent and child, we are all in very different stages & circumstances of this thing called parenthood.

I have decided to expect great and wonderful things this year. Not to worry anymore.

I look back at me and relax. I say, be kind to yourself, you are doing great. And all WILL be okay.