Angel's blog: Back to work – Stop the worry.

A Citymother's Diary

clock Released On 28th Oct 2019

Angel's blog: Back to work – Stop the worry.


I recently returned to the city after a wonderful one year of maternity leave. This was my second maternity leave but for some reason, this time around the nervous feeling before the return was a little worse. In fact there were three main things I was really worried about.

First was the childcare. With my first I didn’t know that handing him over to the care of someone else would be like ripping off a plaster. I used to drop him off at the childminders and my heart would break every day as he would cry his socks off. After dropping him it was an eight minute walk of sadness round to the train station where I would be fighting off tears. I would sit on the train and look gloomily out the window and my phone would ping and right there would be a picture of him laughing. Punk!

This time I knew what I was in for and I wasn’t looking forward to it. That the plaster was coming off and I wasn’t sure I was ready. Surprisingly though my second son didn’t cry - instead he was excited to go to the childminders and settled quickly. He would jump into their arms as soon as the door opened and even worse, on some days when I went to collect him he had the audacity not to want to leave. ‘That’s better though’ people would say to try and comfort me. ‘Is it?’ I’d wonder as I wrestled him into his car seat.

Then worried about work, a lot changes in a year when you work for a dynamic company. Luckily, apart from me moving desks things were mostly the same.  In fact I got the feeling that some of my colleagues had genuinely missed me. I slotted back into work with some much ease it felt like I had not been away. I must also add that the changes in the city were nice too, some old places I used to get my lunch from had closed down and other new fancy places had popped up to replace them. There are also a few new green spaces that are lovely to enjoy lunch in.

Finally I worried about the juggle, could I do it? Would I be tired, would the children be tired? How would I make sure I had time with them? How would I cook, clean and do all the household tasks I had been doing for a year? Would my flexible working request be approved?  My husband brought me back down to earth with this reminding me that he would be equal in home and child management. The meals he has been cooking have been delicious and we have a new cleaner (although I am yet to tell you if she is any good). My flexible working request was approved, and I now work part time with one day a week from home. This has made balancing work and home life easier.

So I have two happy children, one lovely workplace and a clean home where everyone is fed. I’m glad I returned. It reminds that worrying about change is not the way to handle things. In fact, I recently read the most of the things that people worry about will never ever happen! My advice? Let’s save our brain space for more important things. Like how to sneak green veg on to the plate of a three year old.

Angel is a mother to two wonderful boys, aged 3 and 1. She lives with her husband in Hertfordshire and works as an Executive Assistant in the city.

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