Rosie's blog: The rite of spring

The change of season is upon us and the warm sun and longer evenings are welcome as leaving for work in the dark and getting home in the dark seem like distant memories. It’s a time of year for planning and being busy. Now with a 12 year old and a 13 (nearly 14) year old at home I am quickly becoming the shortest person in the household. The eldest takes visible delight in kissing me on the forehead, rather than vice versa.

At this time of their lives when their world is becoming bigger, more exciting and full of adventure and independence, I have to remind myself to keep my world similarly interesting and full. It is easy to allow life to become narrower and limit one’s challenges in a gradual acceptance that living in one’s comfort zone is easier. Children don’t live in these adult zones of comfort, they are constantly challenging themselves and each other and being exposed to new things; anything is possible for them.

Whilst looking to our children for inspiration to keep growing (mentally at least, now the physical side – at least in height - is clearly their battle won), it’s really helpful to reach out to people who are differently experienced to try to get additional perspective and to push further in this quest for development. Whether career development, family development or activities and sport, the role of the mentor and coach are often overlooked (or only viewed in a limited context) and yet so beneficial when you are wanting to take things up to the next level or consolidate and reflect with the benefit of another’s experience and model. Think of all the coaches and mentors that our children have, at school, in their social lives, in leisure and sporting activities: as a parent I know that I cultivate relationships on my sons’ behalf that I think will provide good examples.

Like any working parent I wish I had a coach to guide me through all the loops and hoops of combining two important roles (and attendant anxieties) and at the same time not only managing it but hoping and wishing that the outcomes are successful; it’s not much to ask, is it? But where would I find the time? Yet making the time can create a shift of focus and enable the desired outcomes. It seems so simple and it is worth giving a small amount of focus to oneself; when you are busy with everything and everyone else, why not you as well? When everyone else in the family is growing, why not look for that too? Who knows what exciting things might be achieved in six months!

Rosie is a partner in a City law firm with two sons aged 12 and 13. She is a single parent and works at her office in the City and at home.

Category: A Citymother's Diary

Dangermouse - 10/04/2019 - 12:39
I read this on a morning I had a big decision to make - about whether to step back into a more prominent, client-facing role that would be challenging and involve personal compromises but had more prospects and would likely be more enjoyable for me. There have been lots of helpful conversations and nudges to get me to the point of accepting that role and this blog resonated too - particularly the sentence on how easy it can be to narrow life options and limit challenges and live in a comfort zone. Thanks! 

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