Addy's blog: No Llama, No Drama

My 2 year old daughter has a t shirt that says “No Llama, No Drama” and I think I'm going to make it my new moto in life!. Since coming back from a nice trip abroad in August, life seems to be one long ridiculous string of issues, problems and stress. I'm trying to be all zen about it, work within my circles of influence, practice my yoga meditation etc. but all I really want to do is scream from the roof tops and drink way too much Malbec to compensate. You know it’s bad when your sister phones you at 4.15 and to ask if your day is drama free so far, and you glibly say yes, it’s all going swimmingly well, and yet at 10pm the world crashes again. I know, I know, I spoke to soon.

Right, the details.

Home life.

My nanny is pregnant and despite very well laid plans for maternity cover; this all fell apart with four weeks to go with close family reneging on promises (should make Christmas a barrel of laughs). Replacement hiring commenced and I thought I would be good at this as I hired a great nanny a few years ago, and have hired great people in my day job too, but no the world has moved on. It seems despite being very clear about hours, responsibilities etc., it was very confusing to some people that I wanted someone to come to my house each day and look after my two children. But I found a replacement, hired them, and a week later they cancelled on me too (offered a dream role in NY, which I can’t really compete with). Back to the drawing board, and I find another nanny, who after accepting the role, then realised there was a difference between net and gross pay and asked for a 25% uplift. This I should point out was last week, when current nanny is on her last but one week.

Work life.

I work for a large bank, on regulatory project which goes live at the end of the year, but we want it all done by the end of this month to allow some slack time so its mentally busy (although 1 month slack on a 5 year project doesn’t seem a lot in my mind). I've been told since I joined the project in summer 2017, having already been put at risk on maternity leave that I’ll need to find a job myself at the end of the project. Then 2 days before the paperwork is due, I get told I'm not being made redundant. I'm being reallocated. Then a few weeks later I'm not being reallocated, I need to find a job again, and I will be made redundant at some point if I haven’t found a job. All as clear as mud and not at all unsettling.

So now it’s Monday. New nanny agreed slight uptick in salary and started today for a handover as other nanny is on her last week. I still don’t really know what’s going on at work, but should get some clarity “very soon”. The day was going fine, project meetings and usual weekly shouting matches were all going along as planned, I get out of work at a decent time and make it to yoga, and then I get a text. Pregnant nanny has been signed off sick isn’t coming back and I haven’t even changed the car insurance over yet! I can’t change my diary for a few days, so am going to have to hope that new nanny can cope with 1 days hand over and I can fix the car insurance at 8am tomorrow morning. Where’s that bottle of Malbec gone….. ?

Lessons learned

  • You can’t kill your family for dropping you in a mess even if you want to!
  • Be extremely explicit and always state “gross pay” over and over again when offering a salary, even if it makes you sound like a donkey.
  • Plan as much as you can but be prepared to rip up everything you have done and start again (top tip, don’t delete your spreadsheet with all your interview notes on it, you might need it).
  • Yoga does help with stress management, but uncertainty at work does not and will quickly reduce all hard work to stay calm.
  • Malbec (or any other alcoholic substitute) whilst lovely at the time, does not help solve a problem. No matter how hard you try.

Addy is a director in risk for a bank in the city, with two young kids, a lovely husband a supportive nanny and 2 mad rescue cats.

Category: A Citymother's Diary

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